MH Drabbles
by J. Peterson
Summary: Short snippets circling the HiME cast in all kinds of normal and not-so-normal situations. May or may not be used in longer stories later on.
1. The Hopspacer

**Disclaimers:**  
Mai HiME and all its characters belong to Sunrise. No profit made, no copyright infringement intended.

**Author's Notes:**  
This scene popped into my head and I had to either write it out or drop dead laughing. Obviously, I chose the former, though that hasn't stopped the helpless giggling. Hopefully it'll be equally amusing to others.

**The Hopspacer**  
Featuring Kuga Natsuki and Suguira Midori

* * *

"Hey! Heeeeeey, Kuga! Lookitis!"

Obligingly but reluctantly, Natsuki looked. "It's a space hopper."

"Yesh!" Midori nodded happily and lifted the oversized rubber ball by one of its handles. "Hopspacer! Nonono! Spophazer! Shee?" She shoved the object forward enough for Natsuki to have to take a quick step back to avoid getting knocked over. "Nice, ye? Only shixtynoons ye... yee..." she paused and scowled. "Only! Shixtyninyhunnerd monneys!"

"Uh-huh."

"Nice hopspacer!"

"Very." Natsuki eyed the swaying woman dubiously. "It's... um, very pretty."

"Itsh a rappit!"

"Say what?"

"Look!" The ball was shoved into her face again, and Midori slapped at the design on the front with an unsteady hand. "Teeths! Rappit-teeths!"

"Oh." There actually was an appropriately cartoonish-looking rabbit-face on the rubbery surface, with the handles obviously meant to represent the ears. "Yeah, rabbit-teeth, I see th- whoa!" She grabbed the older woman by the arm when Midori seemed to teeter just a little too far. "Easy! Where's Sagisawa?"

"Hum?" Blurry eyes blinked, and then abruptly sharpened in a way the made Natsuki decidedly nervous. At least in the half-second it took before Midori lunged at her. "Lemme shee your teeths, Kuga!"

"Eh? Hey, watch it you crazy- ow!"

"Heheheheh..." Midori giggled and kept her grip on Natsuki's face, smooshing her cheeks up and down and making raspberry noises. "Oi-oi-oooooi! Pretty teeths!"

"Suguibwa... I ab going to kilb you."


	2. Dexterity

For disclaimers, see the first chapter.

**Dexterity  
**Featuring Fujino Shizuru and Kuga Natsuki

* * *

"I cannot believe you did that!" Natsuki half ranted, half-wailed – albeit very softly – as she paced agitatedly in small circle.

Said rant-wail was aimed at Fujino Shizuru, who was leaning back against one wall with her arms crossed over her chest. The latter part was more out of necessity than anything else, as she _did_ have to hold up the sheet somehow.

"How was I to know you had company on the way?" she finally asked reasonably.

Natsuki immediately halted in her pacing and spun on her heel in a move that would have made professional dancers green with envy. Too bad the current performer was red with embarrassment.

"I _tried_ to tell you!" she responded hotly, and actually stomped her foot. "Only you were so lost in your little Triple-X tirade that I couldn't get a word in edgewise!"

Shizuru made a soft noise that might have been a hastily-swallowed chuckle, and found something terribly interesting to study on the tile floor as she tried not to smile. Her little surprise certainly hadn't worked out as planned, but a terribly cute and flustered Natsuki wasn't a bad consolation prize.

Besides, she _had_ sort of wondered about the point of all those protestations she had to keep cutting off with her own lips. "At least Natsuki wasn't the one naked when they did show up."

"No thanks to you, Fingers." A sigh. "Now if you'll excuse me, I'll gather up the tattered remains of my dignity and find some clothes for you." Pause, and a resigned groan. "And a drink for me. Probably have time to finish a whole damn bottle by the time Mai and Midori stop laughing."


	3. Ambush

For disclaimers, please see part one.

**Author's notes:**  
No background, no real description, doesn't go anywhere. Just dialogue and FF references – and crack. I'm also tipping a few hats to my favorite webcomic: Questionable Content.

**Ambush**  
Featuring Yuuki Nao and Kuga Natsuki

* * *

"Why did I agree to this?" Nao lamented for the nth time in the past ten minutes.

"Because you were bored and Suzushiro has her team watching the campus borders so closely even an ant couldn't get out," Natsuki muttered sourly. She was clearly irritated, which could probably be blamed on her giving that exact response every time her companion asked. "Now _pipe down_ – someone's coming."

"Fine," Nao grumbled. "But I want it on record that I'm not nearly spiky-haired or metrosexual enough to be wielding over-sized weapons." She tapped the end of the massive sword against the wall. "Foam or not."

"Whatever!" Natsuki hissed, and chanced a look around the corner. "Just shut up and pray for a critical hit."

"I could go for my Limit Break," the redhead snarked quietly. "But since it involves two stray dogs, a rudely awakened demon and one of Saturn's moons, I don't think we have time for it."

"Ssshh!"

"It also takes about six hours, and you can't skip any of the cutscenes."

"If you don't plug your talky hole right this second, we're gonna find out if you can wield that sword while it's _shoved up your ass!_"

"Touchy, touchy."


	4. How you slice it

For disclaimers, see the first chapter.

**Warnings:**  
Rampant innuendo.

**How you slice it**  
Featuring Tokiha Mai, Kanzaki Reito, Fujino Shizuru, Kuga Natsuki, Suzushiro Haruka and Kikukawa Yukino

* * *

"Alright, everyone!" Mai set down a white, porcelain dish with a beautifully arranged roast surrounded by vegetables. "We're missing a few people, but Yukino-san says to start without them, so dig in!"

"Allow me, ladies." Reito stood gallantly, and secured a knife from the holder at the end of the table before starting to work on the roast.

Shizuru – sitting across from him – watched him work for several moments while Mai poured wine into each of the six glasses. Then she shook her head, and stood. "Perhaps I should do this, Reito-san." She drew a second knife, which was slightly larger than the one he was using, and easily started slicing the meat with practiced, even strokes.

"Now, that's hardly fair," Reito objected as he seated himself again. "You have a longer knife."

One fair eyebrow raised, and almost disappeared behind Shizuru's bangs. "Really, Reito-san," she scolded. "It's hardly the length of the blade that matters, but the skill with which you wield it." She caught a muffled snort from beside her, and smiled. "Wouldn't you say so, Natsuki?"

"Ah..." Natsuki's mouth was twitching repeatedly. "Sure." She nodded her head vigorously, and kept her eyes fixed on her empty plate. "Skill over... um, length and-" A cough. "Yep. Definitely."

"Skill is vital," Mai noted as she sat down across from her; violet eyes twinkling knowingly as she readily joined in the banter. "And practice too, of course, yes?"

"Both Natsuki and I find practice very important," Shizuru noted calmly, and settled a slice of the steaming, rosy meat on her companion's plate. "There's no such thing as too much, so we make sure to practice every day. And clean our knives afterwards, of course."

Natsuki almost snorted her wine. "Absolutely," she offered, though her voice was somewhat choked. "Cleanliness is high on the list."

The sound of the door closing halted their conversation for the time being, and Shizuru divided more sections of meat to the remaining three people at the table. Then she looked up. "Good evening, Haruka-san, Yukino-san." She held up her knife. "Would either of you care for some meat?"

For some reason Mai seemed to find that funny, and burst out laughing.

"What is going on here?" Haruka demanded as she and Yukino approached, and took the two empty seats. "Reito-san, why are you letting Fujino do all the work?" She pointed to him, then the roast. "Stand up! Be a man!"

Reito, sadly, was at a total loss. "I assure you, I-"

"Ara, Haruka-san, I promise I don't mind." Shizuru deposited a serving on the remaining plate with a beatific smile. "And either way, my knife is both longer and sharper."

Mai nearly spat her wine across the table, while Natsuki buried her face in her hands. "Shizuru..." The latter of the two muttered. "Be nice."

"I thought I was." Red eyes widened innocently. "I served everyone, yes? It's hardly my fault that Reito-san's knife is dull."

Mai's head hit the table with a heavy thud, while Yukino seemed to have caught on and was now having a redness contest with the wine.

"I really don't understand you people," Haruka groused. "Of all the things to talk about at the dinner table, this?" She peered at each of them in turn. "I'd almost say sex was a more normal subject."

Natsuki clapped her napkin over her mouth, and was shaking all over from the effort not to laugh.

"Sex?" Shizuru seated herself and frowned faintly. "Really, Haruka-san. Some of us are trying to eat."


End file.
